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#126 Fullers Brewery

October 10, 2011

Inside a beer 'vat', where the 'booze' is 'stored'. We didn't really listen. Sorry.

If you’ve ever knocked back a pint of London Pride, it’ll have come from their brewery in Chiswick. The brewery tour was diverting but frankly pretty uninspiring, because this is a place where all they do is add things to water and beer comes out.


So instead, here’s a fictional tour: Professor Freidrich Von Fuller, in lab coat, googly-eye specs and suspenders, danced us around to where The Fullertron was adding happy thoughts, broken dreams and headaches to the purest R White’s Lemonade, which is what all the best beer is made from. We got a short talk from Percy the Pie-Eyed Penguin, whose job it was to test every batch. Then the Booza-Loozas strapped on our beer goggles and whisked us away to the Bloatcave, where beer bellies are made. We also got to watch beerologists are working on the Guilt-Free Pint (so far, they’ve got it down to A Sense of Searing Shame Pint). Ten pints later, we were thrown out on the pavement with nary a golden ticket to show for our tour. There were sixteen of us on the tour to begin with; only Mrs Brown and I survived. 😦

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