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#133 Herman Ze German and #132 Chewy Junior

September 28, 2011
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Herman Ze German's sausage in ze bun. Please view in taste-o-vision for maximum effect. Requires HTML9.

It’s UNT, people: Unconventional Nom Time. These two places are virtually opposite each other on Villiers Street, the pedestrian street that leads down from Charing Cross Road to Embankment and contains all kinds of sticky, scummy under-the-taste-radar delights – including the immortal Gordon’s Wine Bar, which we’ll get round to doing one of these days. These are two of its newest recruits.

Herman Ze German is a frankfurter-selling outlet with the slogan ‘Our wurst is ze best!’ Bless. It’s a tiny establishment which deals in Currywurst and Bratwurst, in a bun-based medium, and its slogan is a German sausage proudly sporting Prince Albert sideburns. There’s not so much evidence of this rather winning self-effacing humour inside the shop, but give it time. The simple sausage+bun+ketchup+mustard combo is given a bit of individuality with crunchy fried onion and sauerkraut toppings. Tasty, it was.

//HUMANS INGEST SUGARS AND STARCH. CREATE SUGAR BASED PRODUCT FOR INGESTION. ??? PROFIT!!!//

Chewy Junior is one of those strange cream puff places that started cropping up with the Beard Papa franchise. No man knows where they’re from. Are they Scandinavian? Far Eastern? Azerbaijani? No. They’re actually created by aliens trying to understand our culture. Chewy Junior is one of these. They make large cream puffs, and also bite-size ones. £4.50 for eight. Tasty little puffs filled with some sort of kryptonite cream, topped with the thing you earthlings call chocolate sauce, and varied in twenty different ways with crunchy bits, nuts and even everyday uncoated cornflakes – because the aliens haven’t figured this whole thing out quite yet. The perfect post-alien-apocalypse post-Currywurst dessert.

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